


I'll be your anchore if you be mine.

by SimpleSourWolf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depressed Stiles, Derek and Stiles are Mates, Derek is Stiles' Anchor, M/M, Overdose, Stiles is Derek's Anchor, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-20 08:29:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1503731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpleSourWolf/pseuds/SimpleSourWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles still see's the monster in the mirror, even after he seen it fall to dust right in front of him. He's sick of it, and he wants a way out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll be your anchore if you be mine.

Stiles stared at the reflection in the mirror. This wasn't him. This was a monster. This boy, who was wearing a smug smile, his eyes endless pits of black, this wasn't him.He punched the mirror, again and again until blood seeped out of him knuckles, until the imagine in the mirror looked like nothing but cracked glass. He pulled at his hair, felt his breathing and his heartbeat pick up. Like a panic attack.

He gasped for breath, unable to get a grip on himself. 

 _it's all your fault,_ a voice inside his head taunted, _It's all your fault that Allison and Aiden are dead. It's your fault you almost killed your best friend. It's your fault, stiles._

He felt tears stream down his face, it was right. It was all his fault. No matter how many times people told him it wasn't. Deep down, he knew, it really was.

He'd almost killed his father, deputy Parrish, Scott, Melissa. So many people had died. People at the hospital, his own friends, some cops at the station.

It was all his fault. So he shut himself out. He stopped eating, he stopped going to school for as long as he could. And when he did go to school, he avoided everyone. He put mountain ash around his room (That stopped when he had ran out.). Avoided everyone also meant avoiding Derek.

lord knows he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt Derek. That man meant more to him than stiles would like to admit. Ever since he'd first laid eyes on him in the woods. He'd felt this strange attraction to the man. Maybe it was the way he'd been  shoved up walls, or the way they were constantly arguing about everything, or maybe, it was the way they always seemed to be saving each other.

his breathing and his heartbeat only picked up as he stood there, gripping the counter. The pain in his hand felt so good. But he couldn't do it anymore. He grabbed his bottle of Adderall, he'd gotten a new bottle just yesterday day. He dumped the contents into his hand and counted. 

31 pills. That would be plenty enough. stiles ran to his room putting the pills on his desk as he typed out a letter.

_dear who ever found me;_

_I'm sorry it had to be you who found me like this. I truly am. But honestly I don't think I could have went on much longer._

_I'm sorry that I've been avoiding everyone. But I can't trust myself anymore. I don't know if I'm actually myself anymore. All I see is that monster in the mirror. I can't live with myself knowing what I've done._

_scott; your my best friend. My brother. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. I know how much Allison meant to you. And I'm sorry, it's my fault that she's gone. I’m Sorry that I hurt you. I want you to know this isn't your fault. This is mine. If I would have dragged you out into the woods with me that night, nine of this would have happened._

_dad; you've done such a Great job with me dad. I mean it. I know that when mom died, you didn't know how you were going to take after me, a hyperactive pain in the ass. This isn't your fault either. Please eat healthy for me._

_derek; it's too bad you couldn't save me one last time. I don't want to be saved this time. Please, don't find me. Ignore the scent of death coming from my room. Just please. Don't. I'm doing this because I can't be responsible for what happens next. What if I hurt you? I couldn't live with that. you probably know this already, keen werewolves senses and all. But I love you. I always have. More than you'd even know. Take care of my dad for me._

_Once again. Im sorry, but I can't go on like this._

_goodbye, forever._

_~stiles._

he left the document open and swallowed all 31 pills. It didn't take long for them to kick in. He felt hazy as he laid down on his bed. Tears still rolling down his face. He felt the life slipping from him and he smiled. It was over. Finally over. He may have lost. But it was over.

* * *

Derek stopped, making the pack stop and stare at him. 

His wolf was whimpering and crying inside him. Something wasn't right.

"Derek?" Scott asked, "You okay?"

The man shook his head. He couldn't pin point it. But he knew it was important. The way his wolf was clawing to get out, wanting to show him where to go. He racked his brain as fear and grief took over his body. What meant a lot to his wolf? Who made the wolf go crazy with desire to mark, and claim? Who did his wolf want?

He froze when the realization clued in.

_Stiles._

He took off running, leaving the pack behind. He needed to get to the Stilinski house, needed to get there before it was too late. He ignored Scott's calls from behind him, he didn't have time to explain.

When he got to the house he froze for a second. There was a heart beat, but it was faint.

He went through the window, thankful that the mountain ash wasn't there this time. 

"Stiles!" he yelled, rushing to the bed where the unconscious boy laid. He nearly ripped his phone out of his pocket, dialing 911 first before calling the sheriff. He listened to the heartbeat while he read the letter. It was growing fainter and fainter, a few tears slid down his cheeks.

Suddenly paramedics, the sheriff and the pack burst through the door, while Derek sank to the floor, listening as the heartbeat became slower and slower.

* * *

Stiles woke with a groan, the lights too bright and the sounds too loud. He felt a hand squeeze his and he sighed.

So it didn't work.

He didn't want to look over to see who it was, afraid of their reaction. He fought the urge, keeping his eyes shut. That was until he heard unfamiliar sniffling. He turned and opened his eyes hesitantly.

"Derek?" he asked softly.

More tears rolled down Derek's cheeks, "You scared the shit out of me." He croaked.

Stiles looked away, his chest filling with guilt. They sat in silence as Stiles took the time to take in his surroundings. He had always hated hospitals. They were too bright for a place that always held such sorrow.

"Why?" Derek asked quietly.

"Why what?" 

"Why'd you do it?" 

 Stiles shrugged, "I don't even know if I'm me anymore. I know it's over but I still see him. He's still there, giving me that stupid smirk." He took in a shuddering breath, "I don't want to hurt anyone."

Derek was quiet for a second, trying to calm himself down, "Don't want to hurt anyone?" He asked shakily, "Stiles, do you know how much  _I'm_ Hurting right now? Your dad? Scott? Do you know how much it hurt to see you, almost fucking dead on your bed? Do you know how much it hurt to read that letter?"

Stiles froze, "You found me?" He asked, so quiet that Derek barley heard him.

"I did." Derek nodded, "Dammit Stiles. Are you blind? Me and my wolf are fucking crazy for you. If it wasn't for my wolf, telling me to get my ass in gear you would of died."

"That was kind of the plan." Stiles muttered.

Derek stared at him, mouth hung open as more tears fell down his face.

Stiles felt guilty again, "Derek..you...you're crying." He said, astonished, "Why?"

"Why?!" Derek exclaimed, "Because  _you_ almost fucking died. And you're disappointed that it didn't work. Stiles, can't you fucking see that if you die, I will be miserable. I won't be able to function without my mate."

Stiles stared in shock, "M-mate?" He asked.

Derek nodded, taking Stiles hands, "I....I didn't realize it until it happened. If i would've known sooner, I...I would've told you and done... _something. Anything!_ "

Stiles squeezed the larger mans hands, "I..." He stopped, no words coming out. He was shocked, Derek Hale, cared about something. And that something was  _him_ , "Derek...I don't know what to say."

"Just...tell me you won't do it again. Tell me that you'll let me help you, let me take care of you." Derek practically begged. If anyone asked, Derek would deny that he begged or cried as much as he did.

 Stiles stared at the man before him, the man the meant the world to him, and nodded, "I won't Derek. I won't do it again. You can take care of me." He said quietly, his voice unwilling to go any higher.

Derek nodded and without thinking, he lunged forward nuzzling him head into the crease of Stiles' neck, practically purring. Stiles froze for a moment, not used to this kind of affection. He waited a moment for before leaning his head against Derek's.

"If you tell anyone I did this, I will-"

"Rip my throat out? With your teeth?" Stiles asked, grinning slightly as the older man pulled away.

Derek sent him a glare and Stiles laughed, "Ease up sour wolf, you love me." The boy teased.

* * *

Stiles grinned up at the man holding him from behind, even as the man scowled at everyone around them.

"Whats wrong, sour wolf?" Stiles asked playfully.

"People are staring." Derek mumbled, wrapping his arms tighter around his boy.

"That's because you're tall, dark and handsome." Stiles laughed, "Everyone looks at you."

Derek shook his head, "They're staring at you." He growled, "Like they wanna jump your bones or something." 

Stiles looked up at Derek, "Dude. have you seen me?"

"Yes. And you made me fall in love with you." 

Stiles blushed, "Well..." he trailed off mischeviously.

Derek raised an eyebrow.

Stiles turned in Derek's grasp, throwing his arms around his neck, "Let's give them something to stare at."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted something sweet and sad.


End file.
